


ill remember someday

by ruinate



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 20:19:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruinate/pseuds/ruinate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the times when Lord Ramsay is not there, he thinks of a wolf that he used to know. Not him. Reek never knew a wolf. All he's ever known is his lord. But who he used to be... he knew a wolf. He loved a wolf.<br/>Reek remembers days of cold winter mornings, where he'd turn away from the wolf, only to be pulled into a warm embrace. </p><p>Beta’d By: <a href="http://TheLittlestKraken.tumblr.com">TheLittlestKraken</a></p><p>Cross Posted from my <a href="http://sidekickbucky.co.vu">Tumblr</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	ill remember someday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [janie_tangerine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/gifts).



_My name is Reek... It rhymes with freak._  That's his first thought, in the early mornings when he is awoken by cold water washing over him by one of the Bastard's Boys, and his last thought, in the late night when he is beaten into unconsciousness, usually by his Lordship himself. Reek remembers being someone else, someone with pride and arrogance, someone who walked through the streets like he was the crowned prince of the entire continent of Westeros. He used to be strong, an archer with such precision that no one could best him. But that is a time long forgotten, washed away like seashells being dragged back into the briny depths of the sea.

 _My name is Reek... It rhymes with meek._ He is obedient now, too afraid of punishment to be disobedient. He fears the flaying knife, the lashes, the bloody beatings. His name is Reek and he has lost a few fingers and not many toes. His name is Reek and he has lost some teeth and lots of skin.

But Reek is not always the good boy, no. When his kind Lordship is not there, he thinks and remembers of things long ago. He remembers the sound of waves crashing against rock, of salt in the air. He remembers two cruel older brothers, who cursed and hit him. He remembers an older sister, who defended him against the heartlessness. He remembers the terrible father that gave his son away to a larger man from the North, who took him by the wrist and led him to the ship that would take him away from Pyke. He remembers watching his sister's sad eyes watch him go.

 _The._  The syllable of a name flickers in his mind and Reek squints his poor eyes, trying to recall more of it but falters and fails.  _The._  It's someone's name.

Most of the times when Lord Ramsay is not there, he thinks of a wolf that he used to know. Not him. Reek never knew a wolf. All he's ever known is his lord. But who he used to be... he knew a wolf. He loved a wolf.

Reek remembers days of cold winter mornings, where he'd turn away from the wolf, only to be pulled into a warm embrace. He remembers a dirty innuendo shared between the two of them and then this  _laugh_. This twinkling laugh and soft kisses pressed to his thin shoulders and to his hair and Reek nearly keens because these memories are something he doesn't need. Not now. But he doesn't stop them.

He keeps remembering about joyous times past. Reek remembers the wolf's affections, only true in their bedroom when they kissed and rolled under the furs and touched and stroked, and suddenly, Reek is choking back tears, as to not raise suspicion.

He remembers a time when he had all ten fingers and all ten toes and all his skin and very few scars, if any. He remembers another hand holding on to his as they sat in the Godswood, feet dipping in the pond. He remembers the warmth of this other man's body pressed into his.

 _My name is...Reek..._  Reek remembers being spread under a loving hand, remembers auburn curls in the golden sunlight. He remembers blue eyes like the rivers at Riverrun. He remembers when they were together, closer than any friends could be, that the wolf would always hold his hand; he'd always lace their fingers together and kiss him breathless.

 _My name...isn't Reek._  He remembers the sobbing look on the young wolf's face when he learned of his father's death. He remembers curling up beside him and holding his head in his furs and letting him sob it out. Reek feels a twinge of pain in his heart. But he keeps forcing himself to remember. And so he does.

He remembers when their war started; when Reek (not Reek... Reek wasn't there... someone else was) was forced to watch his best friend undergo the pain and battles, watched the young man's face turn to something hard. He remembers the long nights where he would sneak into his tent and force him away from the charts, just to get him to sleep. He remembers sitting beside the wolf, talking about how this was just one thing that they were going to have to get through.

He remembers the younger's hand settling on his, squeezing gently, before raising it up to his lips and kissing each knuckle and each finger until he was kissing his palm and wrist. He remembers removing their furs and keeping each other warm with their naked bodies from sundown until sun up.

 _The...on..._  The name is said through someone else's voice.  _Theon!_  The voice of the young wolf, laughing in one of the many rare times they shared japes in public. Reek – no, not Reek. Theon. His name is Theon. And Theon remembers lots of things.

He remembers the young wolf's name.  _Robb Stark_. He remembers when he first met Robb and hated him at first until he had asked him to teach him how to shoot a bow. He remembers the first time he had kissed Robb, one night of drunkenness. He remembers when he had lain on the bed, legs spread as Robb had fucked him open, like a stumbling virgin. He remembers the nights where he would take Robb, rock his hips and take him deep until the wolf's back had arched off the bed. He remembers so much... He remembers happy times before Ramsay Bolton. And he will have more memories.... But Reek keeps thinking something, forcing it through his mind and Theon refuses to accept it.

But he knows his name.

His name is Theon Greyjoy and he is Ironborn, Prince of the Iron Islands.

His name is Theon Greyjoy, made of salt and iron and blood.

His name is Theon Greyjoy and when he is free, he will make Ramsay and his men pay the iron price.

But he can never go back to Robb.

His name is Theon Greyjoy and his young wolf is dead.

And Theon begins to weep and mourn the loss of anything good that he had ever had.

And Reek lets him, until Ramsay returns.

“What are you crying for?!” He demands and Reek does not answer.

Because Reek is not crying.

Because Theon is not there anymore.

Because he is Reek and he is obedient.

_My name is Reek. It rhymes with weak._


End file.
